The Sexuality in the Room

When we’re helping someone else grow in knowing and being like Jesus, should we talk about sexuality, the elephant in the room? What if it appears to be just a baby elephant? What if it looks like a mammoth?

Noah and Katie Haas tell Ethan Jasso in the Sexuality and Discipleship podcast, “You can’t not talk about sexuality with people.” In a ministry of making disciples, they’ve learned, you address sexuality as part of a person’s life in Christ. 

As we grow in Jesus, we all uncover broken areas in our lives that God wants to mend. One aspect of brokenness in sexuality is our tendency to cover up that reality of our life due to shame. We attempt to manage our behavior but underlying issues can eventually bring us down. Bringing our brokenness into the light of Christ and the community of other caring believers can help us start the mending process.

At Last!

God made us as sexual beings, male and female (Genesis 2:20-25). Before the fall, God had already built sexuality into people as a good thing. When Eve walked into his life, Adam in essence jumped up, spilled his coffee all over, and shouted, “At last!” After the fall, as with other aspects of our lives, we find brokenness in need of God’s healing transformation to make us whole again.

Healthy sexual relationships—whether in the context of singleness, dating, or marriage—are part of an integrated walk with God.

Toward Wholeness and Transformation

We know that discipleship impacts the whole of our lives, all 168 hours of our week. We’re disciples of Jesus not simply during the hours we spend on quiet times, in church, or during Bible study. We also practice discipleship in our work, reading, diet, relationships, and rest—the whole of our lives in Christ. That wholeness includes our sexual nature. 

Our identities as disciples are integrated, say Noah and Katie. Bringing wholeness into our sexual lives is part of the fulness of life for which Jesus came (John 10:10). During their time in campus ministry, the Haases journeyed through counseling as part their own transformation in the area of sexuality. In our communities of faith, they say, we need to talk and ask questions about sex. A holistic approach to sexuality helps us better grow as disciples of Jesus.

“When we get to the bottom of our brokenness,” the Haases say, “we have a unique opportunity to see God at work.” In the end it’s not about simple behavior management—it’s about transformation.


  • In the Disciple: Be One Make One podcast episode, “Sexuality and Discipleship,” Ethan Jasso discusses biblical sexuality with Noah and Katie Haas.
  • Michael John Cusick’s Surfing for God offers insight, hope, and help for those struggling with sexual sin but who want to experience life to the full in Christ, including in sexuality.