We believe that Jesus has called us to be disciplemakers, but his calling first and foremost is to be his disciples. What is a disciple and what is the disciple’s relationship to Jesus? Whether someone has been following Jesus for a short or long time, some foundational principles mark the life of someone seeking to know Jesus. Here are three key characteristics of a disciple of Jesus.

When my mom left me in my college dorm room the Friday before my freshman year, I stood alone on the gray linoleum tile with a few clothes to unpack and a haircut I still regret. More people lived at the university than in my hometown.

Some time ago I saw Little Orphan Annie on stage in, well, Annie. Her hard-knock life in a dingy New York City orphanage deprived her of all except her startling ability to sing and dance in unison with other little girls. Then Annie met Daddy Warbucks. When he bent over, as my dad would say, money fell out of his pockets. The rest is musical history.

This past month I saw a baby girl playing with her family dog’s plush toy, jamming that graying drool-soaked lambie straight into her own mouth. Whatever toys of hers lay on the floor, she crawled straight past them to grab the dog’s stuff—his chew toys, leash, and tennis balls—then crammed them in her mouth. She’s teething, so no one knows where the dog’s drool ends and hers begins. 

Has a friend ever shared something vulnerable with you and you didn’t know what to say? Maybe they confessed deep sin or confided in you about a mental health struggle. Sometimes we can feel inadequate in helping a friend get through something difficult. Whether it’s addiction, depression, negative thoughts, or other things they’re ashamed of, friends who share their personal struggles are letting you into a sacred place. What an honor it is when others allow us into those vulnerable places.

When we’re helping someone else grow in knowing and being like Jesus, should we talk about sexuality, the elephant in the room? What if it appears to be just a baby elephant? What if it looks like a mammoth? Noah and Katie Haas tell Ethan Jasso in the Sexuality and Discipleship podcast, “You can’t not talk about sexuality with people.” In a ministry of making disciples, they’ve learned, you address sexuality as part of a person’s life in Christ.

Sometimes when I’m talking with another believer, I’ll mention a thing that’s bugging me—an assignment, a concern looming in the future, a relationship that I wish were better. The conversation goes something like this: Me: “I’ve been losing sleep over this project. I hope everything turns out all right.” Friend: “Yeah, projects like that take lots of prayer.” Me (lowering my eyes): “Uh, yeah, right. Lots of prayer.”

Grief and loss will always be a part of life. Just before His death, Jesus told His disciples, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). Grief can drive us to places we wouldn’t experience otherwise, to deeper knowledge of God and stronger bonds with others. Grief can also lead us into dark places where we might miss the direction God wants to take us. You may be suffering alongside another person in pain, maybe a family member or someone you’re mentoring in the faith. Maybe you’re experiencing your own brand of suffering. How do we handle that? Just Showing Up As he discusses in his podcast on grief with Ethan Jasso, Norm Hubbard found friends who walked with him and his late wife, Katie, through terrible times with wisdom and grace. Not exactly like Job’s friends did with him. When Job’s friends first heard about his trouble, they showed up. They wept with Job and suffered with him and sat silently with him for a week (Job 2:11-13). That was good. Then they started talking. They lectured him about his suffering, looking for answers and drawing all sorts of wrong conclusions (Job 4-37).  Norm’s short suggestion for helping grieving people: “Be ...